You know something? I could almost give a damn that Kim Kardashian is having a kid, or had a kid, or is having a goat. I could almost care that Miley Cyrus called off her wedding, or is pissed off at her dad. I don't really care what Nick Nolte's house looks like or how much he's selling it for. If Heidi Klum had a nipple slip at the beach, more power to the lucky bastard who had spread his blanket out on the sand next to her. I don't want to know about Randy Travis's "brave last days". And I certainly don't give a tinker's dam about what Reese Witherspoon (Who on God's green earth names their daughter 'Reese' anyway? Wasn't saddling her with the last name of 'Witherspoon' bad enough?) said when was drunk. Hell, I've said worse things when I used to be sober! Do people really care about the lives of people they don't even know? What is this all-consuming infatuation with celebrities? Do these people deserve so much of our attention? And, these days, people make a career out of simply being famous! As many folks in the past have asked, "What, exactly, does Kim Kardashian fucking do, with the exception, of course, of shilling for credit cards aimed to rip off kids? I mean, except for appearing totally starkers in Playboy about a decade ago, I can't think of anything! But it's all in fun, right? I mean celebrity worship, such as the "news stories" that fill the pages of People Magazine and fill the minutes between commercials of Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight is harmless, right? Maybe not always. I already mentioned Kim Kardashian here. Let's talk about another person who made her money originally by being a naked lady- Jenny McCarthy. Jenny's big claim to fame was that she had low enough self esteem to allow herself to be objectified, and she posed naked for money in Playboy Magazine. Then, she married and divorced Jim Carey. And then she ended up on Oprah as an advocate for autism and to hawk her book that started a global uproar with the anti-vaccination movement. In her book, she contends that there is a direct connection between the commonly used MMR vaccine and autism. (MMR is the most commonly used vaccine in the world for such diseases as measles, rubella, momps and the like.) Actually, The Grand Pooba of this theory, the fellow who originally started the whole thing, is an English doctor by the name of Andrew Wakefield. Good ol' idiot Andy published a study in the medical journal, The Lancet, in 1998 with thirteen of his pals. Through a long and winding mess of twisted facts, clever misrepresentations and flat-out lies, the good doctor's study drew a direct line between the MMR vaccine and the occurrence of autism in young children.Â In 2004, after Sunday Times reporter Brian Deer published an article that brought to light several "financial conflicts of interest" regarding Wakefield's study, eleven of the thirteen people who assisted Wakefield in the study recanted their findings and withdrew their support from Wakefield. In 2010, The General Medical Council of Great Britain found Wakefield guilty on four counts of dishonesty and twelve counts involving the abuse of developmentally challenged children, and claimed that Wakefield acted "dishonestly and irresponsibly in his published research." The Lancet then immediately and fully retracted his 1998 publication. In another article published in The British Medical Journal, Deer called Wakefield's study "an elaborate fraud" in which The doctor planned to wildly profit from a worldwide vaccination scare by receiving government funding for more testing and research on the subject. So, in other words, one jerk wrote a bogus study based on outright lies and then he developed an enormous, world-wide scam that every major medical association on the planet refutes vehemently. BUT, nude model and Playboy's 1993 Playmate of the Year, Jenny McCarthy, who gained the bulk of her fortune and fame in pornographic photos exposing her breasts, vagina and ass, supports Wakefield's findings, and she is much more entertaining than all of those stodgy old physicians who only attributes are medical degrees, years of knowledge, and nothing to gain whatsoever monetarily from their stance on the issue. So, who are you going to believe? Of course! Long live buxom and unabashed Jenny! After all, she makes GREAT sound bites, and she sure is easy on the eyes! And, for gosh sakes, she certainly is the epitome of perkiness, isn't she now? I mean really! And now, thanks to Jenny and her leagues of "Mother Warriors" and Oprah Winfrey, the planet is seeing a huge resurrgence of almost every reportable disease, such as measles, whooping cough, rubella, mumps... Way to go, girls! Wave your banners high and stand behind the teachings of your celebrity spokesperson, who, by the way, is making the fortune that Dr. Wakefield never did make on this whole scam. She is campaigning worldwide for the cause with such things as speaking engagements and five books published on the subject, at the expense of your children . . . and many adults. Oh? Excuse me? You say that you detect a note of anger and sarcasm in my words? I sound upset? MOI??? Well, maybe it's because my girlfriend was just diagnosed with, of all things, whooping cough! Whooping cough, for God's sake! I mean, that went out back in the forties, didn't it? I mean, my father told me stories of when he had whooping cough as a kid, and the medical officials of the town came and posted a quarantine notice on the front door of his house, and nobody was allowed in or out of the place for two weeks! But whooping cough is a dead disease now, right? Not anymore. Thanks to Jenny and Oprah and those celebrity-adoring "Mother Warriors".
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